Let's blow the candles..

I had been trying to avoid taking this channel for a very long time now to throw away 

my negative thoughts but now after exhausting  all my options  i am ready to blurt 

out certain things  here.

So, some of my most logical friends believe that "expectations are the cause 

of all sufferings ." 

therefore we must stop expecting anything from anyone. While you are going through 

a deep emotionalcrises in your life ,you would immediately agree to this because this 

is the shortest route out there to save yourself from most hurtful ,heartless sentiment

 thrown at you by your loved ones. But now let me have a closer look and a broader

 picture at this idea.

 whom do we expect  basically from?

family,friends, colleagues, peers etc

 Our expectations, hopes hurt us if not displayed by the person in the manner we

 are expecting.

What sort of society are we attempting to create through this thought?

A society where a pregnant woman should not expect a seat from a man , an old

 man with clutches in hand should not expect a youth passing by to help him 

cross the street , a young girl being molested by a group of goons should not

 expect any help from the crowd.

For those who would argue now that all of these scenarios occur in public life

 and the idea revolved around 

our personal life. So , I should not compare the two...

To expect small acts, gestures of kindness and compassion is not a sin. 

It is one of the  basic  elements of human nature to strengthen solidarity

 in society.  On what basis these expectations were made in the above cases is 

with the assumption that your family cannot be present with you all the time.

 Therefore, the world should be a family. Further, if you believe that your 

expectations should not cross the frontiers of your family then you are narrow 

minded and selfish . I feel pity at you because you have been trying to avoid the

 distortions in your simple ,busy life from a giving end but you don’t realise

 that someday you too will be at the receiving end as

 well.

So, you are going to fall in either of the above categories ( pregnant woman , 

an old man and a young woman ) someday . But you should not expect anything

from anyone because this is what you have taught yourself all your life.

Now coming onto the personal side of this very idea. your friendships , 

relationships at your workplace are all superficial because today at this age of 24

 you are having an amazing time with good health and wealth . So, you remember

 your loved ones at the time of party, auspicious occasions etc but wait you should

 not expecteven a single word of kindness or encouragement in case you are

 having an emotional, financial or health crises and vice versa.

I should not expect my closest friend to ask me how am I after failing in an exam 

even after working hard, I should not expect any encouraging words to start all over

 again and vice versa .

Then , why there is any relationship  existing at all. Someone please explain!!

Can this sort of society work? Yes , it can but with the assumption that our 

government institutions are strong enough to replace social institutions .  We already 

are having the constitutional ideas that originate from  the concept of individualism

like equality, liberty etc .  And social institutions are functional too. Problem is the

 clash of the traditional culture promoting collectivism with the western and 

constitutional ideas fostering individualism. So till the time our democracy does not

 become strong enough to take care of an individual 

right from his birth till death . We must keep our expectations high because that 

will ensure the existence of a loving, caring society.

In this light, 2015 was a game changer year for me. i learnt some of my best lessons

 in that year on the personal front. it even showcased to me that how i had 

created a good world of my own neglecting all the basic conflicts that we all have 

with our different set of beliefs, ideas and understanding on life issues. So, here I 

happily lose out two of my favorite people and I want to celebrate this today as I 

am optimistic that things would only improve from hereon. Further, I feel extremely 

TIRED of sorting out things relentlessly  and failing each time.

Let's blow the candles and move on...☺